I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
