3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize