Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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