i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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