What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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