if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
