69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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