She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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