i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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