remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
