Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
