Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
