I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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