you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
whose parrot is this?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
