i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
