I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
