you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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