Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
