been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
