Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
