Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
