Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you win again, gameday.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
