If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
