it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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