Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
