shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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