Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
