Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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