If that was your dad, he is hot
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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