My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
