he thought i was a dude.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
