You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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