Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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