hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
