At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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