My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My pussy is not your playground.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
