She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
