I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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