We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
