Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
