I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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