friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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