Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
