i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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