I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
