okay pat passed out under dana's car
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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