just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
