Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize