yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There was a lot of him and a little penis
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
