I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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