what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was born a porn star she said
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
