We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
