I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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