U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
