No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize