Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
