I'm jealous of your bromance
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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