I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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