Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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