Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
